5 reasons to jump off a cliff

 barefoot and blistered

one more step and you'll reach the top

the climb isn't easy

it never is

you finally conquer the cliff

 the cliff is tall

you are brave

your reflection stares back at you

the cool breeze 

blows the hair out of your face

you can hear the water 

as clearly as you can hear the voices in your head

"don't do it"

"you could get hurt"

but you must

you must be brave

because it has been 

too long

adrenaline fills your body

and you take a deep breath

next thing you know

you're 

falling

     flying

living

the water catches you

and you laugh

yes 

you are alive

truly alive

you are brave

you are loved

this life is beautiful

 

  Anyone who knows me knows I love jumping off cliffs. Actually, I'm obsessed. I talk about it often and dream about it even more. Here are a few reasons you should bring out your inner adventure junkie and take that leap of faith.  

1. You're scared.

"If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try" -Seth Goden

I don't care who you are, there is something about willingly jumping off a cliff into water that makes you feel like you are jumping to your death. It's terrifying, but beautiful.  I believe that it is important to do things that scare us in order to feel alive. living in your comfort zone is so boring.  

2. You need to let go.

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind" -C.S Lewis

I've cliff jumped many times (and will probably jump 10,000 more times) and each time I needed to let go of something. Whether I was struggling with insecurities, identity or I was carrying around a ridiculous amount of baggage, God always was there, ready to help me in the healing process. When you jump you feel free.

3. You can. 

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Anonymous

I don't want to be negative Nancy or anything, but someday I wont be able to climb a cliff and then jump off it. Even though I hope I'm cliff jumping when I'm 80, I probably wont be... So why not? If your young and able, climb that cliff and jump off. Be adventurous and if you hate it, you will still have a story to tell, right?

4. You don't have control.

"We have to be continually jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way." -Kurt Vonnegut.

You're out of control and vulnerable. I have learned to love when I am powerless. For those few moments that you are airborne, you are reminded that you don't have control, and you never did. Your life is in God's hands and you are weak. 

5. You're in need of a little adventure.

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

This world is beautiful and I am thankful for a creative Creator. There is so much to explore and so much to enjoy. If you jump off a cliff, you might just see how truly loved you are. Adventure is out there, my friends.

Forever

Up high on a magnificent cliff

you and I are riding lions

Pink foreign flowers dance in my blonde hair

and your eyes are shining like the moon during a lunar eclipse

Our laughter is the same that its always been

but you can hear 

joy 

in every bursting smile

as clearly a you can hear the ocean on the other side of this cliff.
you have always been one of my most favorite humans
in the world
we left a mark
we shed our skin in the very hallways we walked everyday
we bled on paper
 we ate a lot of chocolate
a lot
too much
yum
our ornery personalities played many tricks
our ears were familiar to the words
"I see trouble"
adventures were what we lived
completely aware of how loved we are
and hope filled our hearts
hope of today
 hope of forever
hope of someday seeing our Creater
The one who loves us
all of us
so very deeply
Today I smile
I laugh
and I look at you and say
forever is a long time
my friend





.

 

Alone

No one was around

so I turned up the music

I danced like I did back when I was young

jumping

twirling

flying

I was reminded of a part of me

that I had lost years ago

the ballerina inside of me

remembered 

that I love to dance

 everywhere

Out of the blue

plans got canceled

and I found myself in a tree

my back rested up against the bark

and leaves in my hair

 the air felt 

clearer 

and familiar

It seems that I have 

forgotten 

how to breathe  

Just me

looking at the stars

deep 

down

inside 

I wanted someone to 

look at them with me

but then I realized

there's no one

no one

who would appreciate

the way the stars 

made me feel

the way I do

there is no one

no one

who will ever understand 

the amount I love the constellations

so I will 

tell God how much I love his creations

 He understands 

He always has

looking back

I realizes that sometimes 

sometimes

I need to be alone

when I'm alone

I remember

 

 

Favorite things (parody)

Apples with caramel and letters handwritten

 Brown leather saddles and campfire sittin'

People with passions that dream and dream

Theses are a few of my favorite things.

Big fluffy dogs and the word toodles 

Tree climbing and hiking and alfredo noodles
books filled with adventure and Kings and Queens
These are a few of my favorite things

Candles and laughter and basketball passes
Dark chocolate and board games and perfect mustaches
Rain boots and puddle splashing in spring
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Taylor Swift songs and spring surprise kittens
Running and dancing and beautiful Great Brittan
Big bright birds with multicolored wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Crazy Ballard teachers and school time doodles
Thunderstorms and cuddles with big fluffy poodles
Standing next to friends that really know how to sing
These are a few of my favorite things

Wisconsin cliff jumping and large water splashes
 Reading and writing and 400 yard dashes.
 Haiti and Europe and all travelings
Theses are a few of my favorite things 

When the dog bites, when the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Werever you are, be there.

“Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”


I went to Haiti this August and God taught me a lot about love. Before the trip, I worried about the way I loved others.  I was completely aware of my selfishness and I was terrified it would get in the way of the trip.  What I did not expect is the whole trip to be all about loving people. Because we didn't speak the language fluently,  we weren't going to be able to share the gospel through anything but love.  God broke me and changed me. I heard him say clearly to me, "Emily, you love because I love. Not only when it's easy or convenient for you. Not because you want to. I love them. You love them. Always love. Always."

 I learned about a new part of myself, and to be honest, it's a part I actually like. When I got home from Haiti, loving people was easy and I enjoyed it, but then I started hearing fellow senior classmates saying stuff like, "What's the point of investing in new friendships when I'm just going to leave in a year?" I heard that kind of stuff all the time and I became afraid. I was scared of my heart breaking and I knew it would. I knew it would hurt and I figured it wasn't even worth it, so I tried going through the motions with my everyday life.
  
About two weeks into school, God convicted me and  I started to realize how selfish I was being.  I decided to share my  feelings with my lovely bible study leader, Cinnamon. With God's voice speaking through her, she told me that wherever I am, I should be there.  Both feet planted strong, diving head first, and loving with everything I've got.  

I was hesitant at first because I was so aware of the heartbreak that would occur but eventually God convinced me to take her advice and I've been doing just that this school year. I'm so thankful I did. God has blessed me and I have never felt this loved in my life.

Now, I spend most of my days loving people and I have learned how much I love loving. I love sitting with a group of freshmen girls at lunch on Wednesdays. I love accidentally being late to cross country practice because I was talking to some super cool 8th graders at the coffee shop. I love learning about peoples passions and praying with friends over the phone.  I love running alongside Baby Ray and talking about life. I feel so loved in return when I love others. God has blessed me beyond measure and I am so so so so  thankful. 

I love because God loves and I will keep doing so wherever on this beautiful earth He places me. I am completely aware of the heart brake that is going to happen this year, and I know it's going to hurt. I have loved so many girls and guys so deeply and it will be a privilege to have my heart broken by them. I would do it all over again.

God is good, always.

Never

I have never
ran a marathon
or biked across the country
I have never 
danced with strangers
or held a conversation with a homeless man
I have never 
been carried around by a large boy
or laughed until I cried
I have never 
jumped out of an airplane
or been on a hot air balloon ride
I have never 
ridden in the trunk of a car
or written a book
I have never colored my hair
and I've never
 been to Boston in the fall 

you see
I've only jumped off two cliffs
 in my lifetime
and that is not enough
there are so many mountains I want to climb
so many oceans I want to taste
and so many people I want to love

My heart is stirring
but my brain knows
I wont be in the same place for very long

So Darling
Let's go on an Adventure


  

I'll be back

worried and scared
anxious and excited
emotions filled my body with feelings I didn't recognize

soon
 I'll be out of the country
this glamorous lifestyle will temporarily leave me

Haiti
here
I
come

 first plane ride
motion sick
second plane ride
motion sick
four hour car ride
 "I might throw up on you"

 pale skin
a foreign country
God please change me

 first thought
TAKE ME HOME
second thought
 do I really have to kill another cockroach
third thought
I think I like this gecko on our wall
fourth thought
I could get used to this

God keep changing me

we spent many hours with beautiful kids
laughing
running
singing

I rode on top of the land cruiser
never inside
the air was what kept me feeling
alive

we sang many songs
we played a lot of soccer
 
I laughed
and fell in love
for the first time ever

 words became familiar like
 "don't forget your bug spray"
"don't flush your toilet paper"
"don't drink the water"

God please break me 
Oh God please change me

language barriers
never kept a friendship from blossoming
I still remember the way your eyes hid when you smiled

I studied your face
afraid I would forget
the way your eyes sparkled

I miss your laugh
and the way you said my name

Emahlee
Emahlee
Emahlee

Oh I would gladly
get motion sick for twelve hours
just to play soccer with Kensley again.

I would sweat like a man again
just to feel the oily skin of Haitian children
climb all over me

And I would give anything
anything
to dance with Youzelie
under the stars

oh Haiti you have stolen my heart
and I don't think
I ever want it back

I'll be back Haiti
I'll be back Youzelie

 

The Battle

It's been a sixty five days since
     I've seen a shooting star
 and
    It's been too long since
worship around a campfire

 my brain is tired
        my heart is burdened
 I'm running a pace
 I've never ran before
      I'm dreaming dreams
I've never dreamt before
                      I'm caught between
adventure and the things
    other people expect from me
"It's who you've always been"
  "That's who you'll always be"

and I'm  here wondering who is really me
            attempting to decipher the words that have written me
stealing away my energy
    I'm climbing a tree and I can't reach the top
so I just sit here with wind-blown hair 

everything   is    different
    everything   is          changing

I've been running in circles
chasing lions
    while trying to stop the pain

 but even then
   the words are always echoing
"This is who you'll always be"

but sometimes I hear Him whisper
            "darling you're free"
 
    you may think I'm unhappy
and that is untrue
some days I'm not okay
   and that is okay
but
    I'm happy
I'm so very happy

a battle is being fought
                 inside of me
you've never noticed

          cause you cannot see

I am from

I am from light pink ballet shoes and a black leotard.
I am from dancing in the reflection of our stove and twirling on the side walk.
I am from the nickles and dimes that paid for my dreams.

I am from denim overalls and my treasured red rain boots
I am from baseball hats on backwards and a stomach filled with raspberries.

I am from breaking the rules.
I am from illegally riding the eighty-five-year-old tortoises at the blank park zoo, breaking into my own church and running barefoot in the hotel hallways. 

I am from talks with The King Of The Universe on the roof of my house.
I from constantly being reminded that I'm enough and that I am loved.

I am from "You can do it." and "You have a purpose in this life"
I am from the dirt under my nails and the determination in my eyes. 

I am from red, memory-worn basketball shoes and a gym full of loud people.
I am from permanently scarred legs and a sweaty ponytail.

I am from laughter.
I am from pain.
I am from loss.
I am from joy. 

I am from my bonfire scented hair and the word I never said.
I am from cliff jumping and tall trees that smell like memories.

I am from coffee in solid rock with Jessica and the familiar haunting words, "Are you a fan or a follower?"

I am from backstage with an adrenaline-filled body.
 I am from performing in front of an audience and loving every minute of it.
 
I am from Les Cayes, Haiti.
Bonjou.
bonswa.
bonn nui.  :)
 
I am from the freckles on my lips and my sunflower eyes.
I am from the ocean-the very place my heart longs for everyday.

I am from the books I've read and found myself lost.
I am from the poems that have written me and the paintings on my wall.

I am from today.
Anxiously awaiting my next adventure.