September 20th, 2014
It's been sixty five days
since I've seen a star shoot across the sky
and I can't remember the last time
I sat around a campfire
My brain is tired
my heart is burdened
I'm running a pace I've never ran before
I'm dreaming dreams I've never dreamt before
I'm caught in-between adventures
and the things
others expect from me
"This is who you've always been"
"That's who you'll always be"
but I'm still wondering who is even me
attempting to decipher the words that have written me
stealing away my energy
so I climb a tree
and I can't reach the top
I laugh and lean on a branch
with my hair blowing in the wind
something is different
I am changing
My soul is wondering
my feet are chasing lions
and even then
vices are echoing
"This is who you'll always be"
but sometimes I hear Him whisper
"Beloved, you're free"
you may think I'm unhappy
and that is untrue
somedays I'm not okay
but that is okay
a battle is being fought inside of me
you've never noticed
cause' you cannot see
The Battle: part 2
December 22th, 2015
The moon said my name once
it scared me so much I danced
different from the moon
the Ocean has called my name many times
and like a lion
it roars into my heart
challenging me to go deeper
to tread longer
calling me out farther
brave enough to respond
and enchanted by the waves
I
slowly
gracefully
stumble
into the mystery of my soul
I take long strides
confidently following the call
but it doesn't take too long for the salt water
to remind me of my wounds
I am broken and
I am scared
"is this deep enough?" I ask
I stand there
hoping I would be
But I hear the waves call again
I start to cry
tasting my tears
I'm now waste deep
The waves start interrupting my balance
tossing me back and forth
I choke on salt water
I understand now
I am weak
my life is futile
I start seeing the ocean
in a different way
the Ocean is powerful
I will never understand its depths
and I have always loved the ocean
but it has loved me longer
I tread water far from shore
the deep blue green color of the ocean
blinds me from the possible dangers
the ocean is not safe
not this far from shore
my arms are tired and my body is aching
then I hear it again
I close my eyes and clench my jaw
the ocean is calling again
There is so much mystery in the love
there is so much danger in the call
