I'll be back

worried and scared
anxious and excited
emotions filled my body with feelings I didn't recognize

soon
 I'll be out of the country
this glamorous lifestyle will temporarily leave me

Haiti
here
I
come

 first plane ride
motion sick
second plane ride
motion sick
four hour car ride
 "I might throw up on you"

 pale skin
a foreign country
God please change me

 first thought
TAKE ME HOME
second thought
 do I really have to kill another cockroach
third thought
I think I like this gecko on our wall
fourth thought
I could get used to this

God keep changing me

we spent many hours with beautiful kids
laughing
running
singing

I rode on top of the land cruiser
never inside
the air was what kept me feeling
alive

we sang many songs
we played a lot of soccer
 
I laughed
and fell in love
for the first time ever

 words became familiar like
 "don't forget your bug spray"
"don't flush your toilet paper"
"don't drink the water"

God please break me 
Oh God please change me

language barriers
never kept a friendship from blossoming
I still remember the way your eyes hid when you smiled

I studied your face
afraid I would forget
the way your eyes sparkled

I miss your laugh
and the way you said my name

Emahlee
Emahlee
Emahlee

Oh I would gladly
get motion sick for twelve hours
just to play soccer with Kensley again.

I would sweat like a man again
just to feel the oily skin of Haitian children
climb all over me

And I would give anything
anything
to dance with Youzelie
under the stars

oh Haiti you have stolen my heart
and I don't think
I ever want it back

I'll be back Haiti
I'll be back Youzelie