My flesh wants to be known so badly. My pride seeks attention, and my insecurities struggle to hide my flaws. I want people to know me, to love me, and to want to be around me. I want to perform, and I want people to watch. I want to write, and to be good at it. I want to create. I want to craft creations that make people feel. I want my creations to be special, and I want to be a favorite. I want to be unique. To be different. I want to speak, to be heard, and to be loved by all.
My flesh is incredibly prideful. So prideful, I’m embarrassed.
God has given me, like everyone else, talents. I know of some of my talents, but I often find myself using them for myself, rather than for the glory of God. I am selfish. I am human. I am a sinner. I want the glory.
When I first started writing, I was afraid to share my work with anyone. Vulnerability is a fear of mine, and sharing my thoughts was one of the most vulnerable things I could do. Several years later, I have become more open with my writing. I share quite a lot of my work, and I easily accept criticism. I have came a long way, but I have even longer to go.
Success is everything. At least, that’s what the worlds telling me. When I write, I want the credit. I guess I have forgotten, everything I have created, has been inspired by a creation of some sort. Nothing I create is an original. It was all God inspired. Every piece.
My prayer is that I will stop being so prideful. That I will allow God to speak through me, and that I would rejoice when he does. I need to be using every opportunity to be a platform for Him. I write for Him. I speak for Him. I create for Him.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
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