The Battle

It's been a sixty five days since
     I've seen a shooting star
 and
    It's been too long since
worship around a campfire

 my brain is tired
        my heart is burdened
 I'm running a pace
 I've never ran before
      I'm dreaming dreams
I've never dreamt before
                      I'm caught between
adventure and the things
    other people expect from me
"It's who you've always been"
  "That's who you'll always be"

and I'm  here wondering who is really me
            attempting to decipher the words that have written me
stealing away my energy
    I'm climbing a tree and I can't reach the top
so I just sit here with wind-blown hair 

everything   is    different
    everything   is          changing

I've been running in circles
chasing lions
    while trying to stop the pain

 but even then
   the words are always echoing
"This is who you'll always be"

but sometimes I hear Him whisper
            "darling you're free"
 
    you may think I'm unhappy
and that is untrue
some days I'm not okay
   and that is okay
but
    I'm happy
I'm so very happy

a battle is being fought
                 inside of me
you've never noticed

          cause you cannot see