I love reflecting on periods of time, and because I have some free time, I decided to write down some things I learned this march. It sure has been an extremely eventful month!
I have a ridiculous amount of supportive friends and it is so great.
In the month of March, I made some pretty big decisions and I had wonderful friends who loved, supported and enjoyed the moments with me. I am one blessed cookie.
Online classes don't do themselves.
This is just a warning for all you procrastinators out there. Putting off your online homework leads to late nights and early mornings.
"We meet no ordinary people in our lives"-C.S Lewis.
I dare you to name one "ordinary" person you know.
You can get a sunburn while snowboarding.
It's true. When you're out snowboarding for 6+ hours, while the sun is shining, you will get burnt. It happened to me. I am glad I got burnt because my freckles came out extra early this year. ♥
You are always going to be weaker than the ocean. Always.
Visiting Daytona beach over spring break reminded me how weak I truly am. The ocean always reminds me of how powerful God's love is and how beautiful his creations are. What a blessing the school-free week was.
If your team is stacked, it doesn't guarantee a state championship.
This one hurts. My dream of a state championship never happened. The whole team must want it in order to succeed. So many memories with my high school basketball team.
I can sleep on a cement floor for five nights in a row.
I know this because I had to do it for senior survivor at my school. The sleeping wasn't the best, but many good stories came from the experience.
When in the south, my mom will slowly start talking with a southern accent.
This happened on vacation. If I'm being honest, I was annoyed, but it was also really funny.
The stars are still pretty in march.
This march I really enjoyed wrapping up in a blanket to stare at the stars. Although I'm missing some of my favorite star gazing friends, I still could really feel God's love and that was worth the chilly weather.
I am ridiculously spontaneous
Okay, I think I knew this, but I laughed about it after I spontaneously committed to play college basketball. I mean, I'm even spontaneous with big decisions. This could be a bad thing.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
in love
"You just don't understand because you've never been in love."
I smiled
gently laughed
and walked away
That is a lie
I know what it's like to be in love
I am in love
I am in love with
the way the sun beautifully sets
and the way it always rises.
I am in love with Sunday afternoons
and the way my cousins giggle when I chase them.
I am in love with
singing birds and dancing to loud music
I am in love with
the many constellations in the sky
crafted by The Creator
I am in love with
beautiful cathedrals
and cultures
and communities
I am in love with
adventure
adrenaline
and sassy attitudes
I am in love with magical moments like
long held eye contact
forehead kisses
and laughter that makes your stomach ache
I am in love with the ocean
with dreamers
and with passionate writers
I am in love with
exploring
I am in love with
getting lost
I am in love with
quality time
I am in love with
people
unique people
boring people
crazy people
obnoxious people
people
I am in love with the sunshine
and large bodies of water
I am in love with freedom
I am in love with places I've been
and places I'll go.
I am in love with
moments
and memories
and the mysteries of life
I am in love with the past
I am in love with the future
I could go on
but
my point is
I have always been in love
I've just never been in love
with a boy.
I smiled
gently laughed
and walked away
That is a lie
I know what it's like to be in love
I am in love
I am in love with
the way the sun beautifully sets
and the way it always rises.
I am in love with Sunday afternoons
and the way my cousins giggle when I chase them.
I am in love with
singing birds and dancing to loud music
I am in love with
the many constellations in the sky
crafted by The Creator
I am in love with
beautiful cathedrals
and cultures
and communities
I am in love with
adventure
adrenaline
and sassy attitudes
I am in love with magical moments like
long held eye contact
forehead kisses
and laughter that makes your stomach ache
I am in love with the ocean
with dreamers
and with passionate writers
I am in love with
exploring
I am in love with
getting lost
I am in love with
quality time
I am in love with
people
unique people
boring people
crazy people
obnoxious people
people
I am in love with the sunshine
and large bodies of water
I am in love with freedom
I am in love with places I've been
and places I'll go.
I am in love with
moments
and memories
and the mysteries of life
I am in love with the past
I am in love with the future
I could go on
but
my point is
I have always been in love
I've just never been in love
with a boy.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Nobody
Four years flew by quickly. Too quickly. Being a Ballard Bomber basketball player is one of the best things in the world. I played for the best program in the state, with the best coaches in the state, and with some of the most competitive girls in the state. Every single moment was a blast.
After the sad loss of my last basketball game ever wearing a (beautiful) Ballard jersey, I was brought into the media room, and asked questions by different reporters. In the corner of a crowded room, a tall reporter asked me to "reflect on my last four years" Naturally, I started crying while trying to put my many thoughts to words. I failed, and I'm pretty sure it sounded like, "It'sbeenreallyfun *Sobs* Iloveballard *sobs even more* greatcoaches *wipes snot from face* Somanymemories" Now, after having almost twelve hours to reflect on my last four years, I have been able organize my thoughts a little more (I think).
For four years, I wore a label that read Basketball player. If I had a bad game, I would have a bad day. If I felt like I wasn't as talented as another player, I would start telling myself I was worthless, and lets be honest, no one likes you if you're not successful, right? On the other hand, If I had a really good game, I would start feeling prideful. If students and teachers congratulated me in the hallways, I would feel special and important. I defined myself by how good of a basketball player I was, and I carried it on my shoulders for too long. Four years too long.
Thankfully, my beautifully graceful God, pursued me (and continues to) throughout high school. Through the laughter and tears of Ballard basketball, God promised me I was more than just a basketball player. When the bell rang, and my dreams crashed, he said, "You are more than a basketball player. You are mine and I love you. I always will."
Of course I cried, bawled actually. I broke my favorite water bottle on the wall in the locker room and refused to pick up the pieces. I loved every minute of being a Bomber, with teammates I love so much.
Nobody on three, is what we say after coming out of every huddle. Nobody is a saying that stands for certain goals we set for every game. An example would be: Nobody out works us. When I said nobody for the last time it hit me. I am a nobody. I was never here to make a name for myself. I was here to make a name for Him.
After the sad loss of my last basketball game ever wearing a (beautiful) Ballard jersey, I was brought into the media room, and asked questions by different reporters. In the corner of a crowded room, a tall reporter asked me to "reflect on my last four years" Naturally, I started crying while trying to put my many thoughts to words. I failed, and I'm pretty sure it sounded like, "It'sbeenreallyfun *Sobs* Iloveballard *sobs even more* greatcoaches *wipes snot from face* Somanymemories" Now, after having almost twelve hours to reflect on my last four years, I have been able organize my thoughts a little more (I think).
For four years, I wore a label that read Basketball player. If I had a bad game, I would have a bad day. If I felt like I wasn't as talented as another player, I would start telling myself I was worthless, and lets be honest, no one likes you if you're not successful, right? On the other hand, If I had a really good game, I would start feeling prideful. If students and teachers congratulated me in the hallways, I would feel special and important. I defined myself by how good of a basketball player I was, and I carried it on my shoulders for too long. Four years too long.
Thankfully, my beautifully graceful God, pursued me (and continues to) throughout high school. Through the laughter and tears of Ballard basketball, God promised me I was more than just a basketball player. When the bell rang, and my dreams crashed, he said, "You are more than a basketball player. You are mine and I love you. I always will."
Of course I cried, bawled actually. I broke my favorite water bottle on the wall in the locker room and refused to pick up the pieces. I loved every minute of being a Bomber, with teammates I love so much.
Nobody on three, is what we say after coming out of every huddle. Nobody is a saying that stands for certain goals we set for every game. An example would be: Nobody out works us. When I said nobody for the last time it hit me. I am a nobody. I was never here to make a name for myself. I was here to make a name for Him.
Thank you, Jesus, for letting me be a part of something so great. I truly loved everything about it and I will cherish the beautiful memories forever.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Missing
Ten minutes until midnight and we had exactly fifteen minutes to arrive at the bridge before the lights turned off. My energy level was rising and the speed I was skating was fueled by my love for midnight adventures. We skated faster and faster, ignoring the sweat running down our faces and giggled at our ridiculousness. The three of us were skating faster than any other girls in Midwest Iowa when my treasured antique roller-skates decided they had enough. The front left wheel left me without a goodbye and the incident sent me sliding (gracefully) on the cement. My adrenaline ignored the pain while I unlaced my injured roller-skate and started one-skating as my friends followed. Nothing was going to stop us. We continued to race towards the bridge and in a few long minutes we could finally see it. I took off my other skate and I started running. (Yes, this was exactly like a dramatic scene from a movie) The beautiful lights were in our reach and I knew that when we finally reached them, all the running, skating, sweating and bleeding would be worth it. I burned two holes in my socks and wiped the sweat from my cheeks, then the lights shut off. I screamed. We laughed. It was a disaster, but it was fun.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Thankful (1-40)
I'm currently reading the book one thousand things. In the book, The Writer talks about a list she keeps of the things she is thankful for. Her list eventually reached 1000 different things, so I decided to challenge myself to do the same. I will post most of them on this blog and I hope this inspires you because we have MUCH to be thankful for.
1. Dark chocolate.
2. Happy dogs.
3. Balloons.
4. Good books.
5. Warm beds.
6. Wellness walk at school once a month.
7. Loud elementary kids.
8. Grumpy cats.
9. The fact that God already knows my future.
10. Laughter.
11. Half birthdays.
12. Maggie Raes.
13. Pinterest
14. Clean rooms.
15. My mom-she always allows me to dream and that's great.
16. Climbable trees.
17. Apples.
18. Free afternoons filled with dancing.
19. Board games.
20. Green beans.
21. School spirit.
22. Pandora.
23.Sweatpants.
24. My lovely car.
25. Econ class.
26. Great Ballard teachers.
27. Iowa wind. It smells like memories.
28. Family videos.
29. Lasting gum.
30. Harry Potter.
31. A locker to myself at school.
32. Mrs. Cunarro.
33.MELAGEL
34. Mix CD's
35. Cheap gas.
36. The pennies paying for my dreams.
37. Bonfires.
38. mechanical pencils
39. Clear skies.
40. Outback steakhouse.
1. Dark chocolate.
2. Happy dogs.
3. Balloons.
4. Good books.
5. Warm beds.
6. Wellness walk at school once a month.
7. Loud elementary kids.
8. Grumpy cats.
9. The fact that God already knows my future.
10. Laughter.
11. Half birthdays.
12. Maggie Raes.
13. Pinterest
14. Clean rooms.
15. My mom-she always allows me to dream and that's great.
16. Climbable trees.
17. Apples.
18. Free afternoons filled with dancing.
19. Board games.
20. Green beans.
21. School spirit.
22. Pandora.
23.Sweatpants.
24. My lovely car.
25. Econ class.
26. Great Ballard teachers.
27. Iowa wind. It smells like memories.
28. Family videos.
29. Lasting gum.
30. Harry Potter.
31. A locker to myself at school.
32. Mrs. Cunarro.
33.MELAGEL
34. Mix CD's
35. Cheap gas.
36. The pennies paying for my dreams.
37. Bonfires.
38. mechanical pencils
39. Clear skies.
40. Outback steakhouse.
Friday, January 2, 2015
14 things I learned in 2014
1. I'm under construction, please be patient.
Every year I am reminded that I still have growing to do, and this year was more than ever. I will make mistakes, say stuff I shouldn't have, hurt people, hurt myself. Thankfully, God is working on me everyday, making me into the person he wants me to be. Please be patient, friends, I'm only human.
2. Scars make me smile.
If you just looked at my knees, you would know that I have really lived. I have scars everywhere, and this year I have really enjoyed the stories that go with them.
"Remember when I fell out of the mulberry tree? only eight stitches there."
"Throwback to when my roller skates turned on me."
"I blame the barbwire fence for that one."
"Funny you should ask, it all started when I was riding my bike and putting my hair up at the same time..."
3. Missing people is a good thing.
Many of my best friends left for college and I returned to another year of high school. Mentors left, people moved, change was everywhere. I spent most of my days missing people because my heart loved them so much. How cool is it that there are people in my life that I miss when they're gone? I'm one blessed cookie.
4. Success isn't everything.
For the majority of high school, basketball has been what I lived and breathed. I have always loved the sound of the crowd screaming and hearing the announcer say my name made me feel important. I have noticed that many athletes, myself included, find their identity in their success. The world is screaming that in our faces and we are believing it. This year, God taught me this: You are more than your basketball stats, more than your free throw percentage, and it doesn't matter what your peers think of you, I love you.
5. Sometimes you can hear God's voice in secular music.
My most recent discovery is in the song Rather be
"We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be"
I often have to remind myself that High school is where God wants me right now, and because He is with me, there is no place I'd rather be.
6. Cross country is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Did I just say that? I met many of my best friends running XC and many of my memories come from bus rides, terrible practice or the dreaded meets. It was crazy seeing God work through me during the sport. I love all of you, Ballard XC.
7. Family videos teach you about yourself.
It's so weird watching yourself grow up. Sometimes when I watch the videos, I miss a part of me. I miss the Emily who sings obnoxiously while climbing trees. Wait, I still do that...
8. An empty suitcase can be the best Christmas present.
At first, I was wondering why I got a suitcase for Christmas. After all, I have a suitcase and even though it's ugly, it works. My Christmas suitcase grew on my every second. Because I love traveling and plan on traveling with my future job, The suitcase was almost saying, "Hey, I'm the rest of your life. It's going to be a great adventure." Anyway, I really like my cute black and white suitcase. Next stop, Ireland!
9. I'm pretty sure I'm a mermaid.
I have been away from the ocean for five months and seven days. I have been non stop looking at pictures of the ocean, watching surfing videos and planning road trips with the destination of the ocean. I miss the way I feel small and powerless when I'm being knocked over by waves. Please, someone, take me to the ocean. I want to feel alive.
10. Chocolate is good for every meal.
The amount of chocolate I consume daily is probably unhealthy, but I will continue to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Need I say more?
11. Two guys who really like coffee make for great company.
In the middle of December, I had coffee with two sophomore guys that I enjoy quite a lot. Jackson and Ryan have two of the most beautiful minds I have ever encountered. Jackson's a dreamer who loves cities and Ryan knows the bible better than I do, which is both amazing and convicting. My heart was full when their cups were empty.
12. We all crave a love that we can only get from God.
Just by observing relationships of others, and being aware of the way I want to be loved, I have realized that no love is perfect. We can't be loved the way we want to be loved by others, but we all crave God's love whether we realize it or not.
13. You can fit ten girls in my 1993 Pontiac Bonneville.
Enough said.
14. Haitians like dancing and counting freckles.
My experience in Haiti was beautiful. My favorite memory was when I danced for hours with precious girls that loved laughing. I enjoyed every minute that I was playing soccer, holding hands or getting my freckles counted. ♥
I'm excited for many more new adventures in 2015!
Every year I am reminded that I still have growing to do, and this year was more than ever. I will make mistakes, say stuff I shouldn't have, hurt people, hurt myself. Thankfully, God is working on me everyday, making me into the person he wants me to be. Please be patient, friends, I'm only human.
2. Scars make me smile.
If you just looked at my knees, you would know that I have really lived. I have scars everywhere, and this year I have really enjoyed the stories that go with them.
"Remember when I fell out of the mulberry tree? only eight stitches there."
"Throwback to when my roller skates turned on me."
"I blame the barbwire fence for that one."
"Funny you should ask, it all started when I was riding my bike and putting my hair up at the same time..."
3. Missing people is a good thing.
Many of my best friends left for college and I returned to another year of high school. Mentors left, people moved, change was everywhere. I spent most of my days missing people because my heart loved them so much. How cool is it that there are people in my life that I miss when they're gone? I'm one blessed cookie.
4. Success isn't everything.
For the majority of high school, basketball has been what I lived and breathed. I have always loved the sound of the crowd screaming and hearing the announcer say my name made me feel important. I have noticed that many athletes, myself included, find their identity in their success. The world is screaming that in our faces and we are believing it. This year, God taught me this: You are more than your basketball stats, more than your free throw percentage, and it doesn't matter what your peers think of you, I love you.
5. Sometimes you can hear God's voice in secular music.
My most recent discovery is in the song Rather be
"We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be"
I often have to remind myself that High school is where God wants me right now, and because He is with me, there is no place I'd rather be.
6. Cross country is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Did I just say that? I met many of my best friends running XC and many of my memories come from bus rides, terrible practice or the dreaded meets. It was crazy seeing God work through me during the sport. I love all of you, Ballard XC.
7. Family videos teach you about yourself.
It's so weird watching yourself grow up. Sometimes when I watch the videos, I miss a part of me. I miss the Emily who sings obnoxiously while climbing trees. Wait, I still do that...
8. An empty suitcase can be the best Christmas present.
At first, I was wondering why I got a suitcase for Christmas. After all, I have a suitcase and even though it's ugly, it works. My Christmas suitcase grew on my every second. Because I love traveling and plan on traveling with my future job, The suitcase was almost saying, "Hey, I'm the rest of your life. It's going to be a great adventure." Anyway, I really like my cute black and white suitcase. Next stop, Ireland!
9. I'm pretty sure I'm a mermaid.
I have been away from the ocean for five months and seven days. I have been non stop looking at pictures of the ocean, watching surfing videos and planning road trips with the destination of the ocean. I miss the way I feel small and powerless when I'm being knocked over by waves. Please, someone, take me to the ocean. I want to feel alive.
10. Chocolate is good for every meal.
The amount of chocolate I consume daily is probably unhealthy, but I will continue to eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Need I say more?
11. Two guys who really like coffee make for great company.
In the middle of December, I had coffee with two sophomore guys that I enjoy quite a lot. Jackson and Ryan have two of the most beautiful minds I have ever encountered. Jackson's a dreamer who loves cities and Ryan knows the bible better than I do, which is both amazing and convicting. My heart was full when their cups were empty.
12. We all crave a love that we can only get from God.
Just by observing relationships of others, and being aware of the way I want to be loved, I have realized that no love is perfect. We can't be loved the way we want to be loved by others, but we all crave God's love whether we realize it or not.
13. You can fit ten girls in my 1993 Pontiac Bonneville.
Enough said.
14. Haitians like dancing and counting freckles.
My experience in Haiti was beautiful. My favorite memory was when I danced for hours with precious girls that loved laughing. I enjoyed every minute that I was playing soccer, holding hands or getting my freckles counted. ♥
I'm excited for many more new adventures in 2015!
Monday, December 22, 2014
5 reasons to jump off a cliff
barefoot and blistered
one more step and you'll reach the top
the climb isn't easy
it never is
you finally conquer the cliff
the cliff is tall
you are brave
your reflection stares back at you
the cool breeze
blows the hair out of your face
you can hear the water
as clearly as you can hear the voices in your head
"don't do it"
"you could get hurt"
but you must
you must be brave
because it has been
too long
adrenaline fills your body
and you take a deep breath
next thing you know
you're
falling
flying
living
the water catches you
and you laugh
yes
you are alive
truly alive
you are brave
you are loved
this life is beautiful
Anyone who knows me knows I love jumping off cliffs. Actually, I'm obsessed. I talk about it often and dream about it even more. Here are a few reasons you should bring out your inner adventure junkie and take that leap of faith.
1. You're scared.
"If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try" -Seth Goden
I don't care who you are, there is something about willingly jumping off a cliff into water that makes you feel like you are jumping to your death. It's terrifying, but beautiful. I believe that it is important to do things that scare us in order to feel alive. living in your comfort zone is so boring.
2. You need to let go.
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind" -C.S Lewis
I've cliff jumped many times (and will probably jump 10,000 more times) and each time I needed to let go of something. Whether I was struggling with insecurities, identity or I was carrying around a ridiculous amount of baggage, God always was there, ready to help me in the healing process. When you jump you feel free.
3. You can.
"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." -Anonymous
I don't want to be negative Nancy or anything, but someday I wont be able to climb a cliff and then jump off it. Even though I hope I'm cliff jumping when I'm 80, I probably wont be... So why not? If your young and able, climb that cliff and jump off. Be adventurous and if you hate it, you will still have a story to tell, right?
4. You don't have control.
"We have to be continually jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way." -Kurt Vonnegut.
You're out of control and vulnerable. I have learned to love when I am powerless. For those few moments that you are airborne, you are reminded that you don't have control, and you never did. Your life is in God's hands and you are weak.
5. You're in need of a little adventure.
"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"
This world is beautiful and I am thankful for a creative Creator. There is so much to explore and so much to enjoy. If you jump off a cliff, you might just see how truly loved you are. Adventure is out there, my friends.
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